One of the problems with career decision making is that our thoughts and feelings often seem to cloud the issue. For example, we might feel we want to make a change, but our thoughts may tell us it’s impossible or we’re too old, poor, incapable or unqualified.
Difficult Thoughts and Feelings
The problem with difficult thoughts and feelings is that they sometimes interfere with our actions, behaviours or goals. This has the effect of pulling us away from what it is we would really want to do in our lives. This has a very damaging impact on us, as not only do we still have the difficult thoughts and feelings, but we also give them a lot of power.
It is this that is often at the heart of career issues. To explore the issue more deeply, we can use a metaphor – the passengers on the bus.
The Passengers On the Bus
Imagine that you are the driver of a bus heading in the direction of your values. Life (and buses) being what they are, along the route you pick up various passengers. Passengers represent your experiences, your thoughts, emotions, physical sensations and responses to the journey.
Some of the passengers are very pleasant. It’s great to have them along. Many – even most – are pretty neutral. But some passengers are horrible. They are ugly, loud, aggressive, threatening. They tell you you’re a terrible driver. They warn you that you are going the wrong way. They threaten that if you do not turn around or take a detour your life will be at an end.
These passengers can be very scary to listen to. And over time, they can really get us down.
Identifying Your Passengers
Just take a moment to consider what your own passengers might be in relation to your career? What are the most prominent? What are the loudest? Which are the darkest? Make a note:
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The natural temptation is to listen to these passengers and then perhaps argue with them, or try to get rid of them before driving on. However, if you can think of at least 1 or 2, ask yourself:
- Do these passengers ever get off and stay off the bus?
- What’s happening to the direction of the bus if we are focused on fighting with the passengers?
- Does engaging with the passengers make them more or less important in our lives?
| One client said that paying attention to her passengers felt like when a bus driver goes to confront unruly school children on her bus home. Rather than making the situation better, the unruly children almost grow in importance, and their behaviour often worsens. But check your own experience! Maybe for you, arguing or fighting with these passengers has worked in the past. |
If you have tried before and failed to wrestle the passengers off your bus, or got them to be quiet, then you may want to take part in the Bus of Life Exercise.
The Bus of Life Exercise
Imagine that you are the driver of your own bus of life.
Identify one important chosen direction for your bus to travel. This might correlate with one of your most important values, which you explored at the end of handbook 1.
Think for a moment about what you could do to bring this value further into your life and career.
Try to identify a few bus stops along the way. What kind of goals could you set to demonstrate progress towards this value?
Now, identify the very next turn in the road. This represents your next important action towards this goal, in the direction of your value. This might be next month, next week, tomorrow or right now.
Finally, identify any passengers (thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, sensations, urges etc) that have the potential to hijack your bus. These are the equivalent of internal barriers. What do these passengers say to you which have the capacity to make you veer off course, or stop driving or become distracted?
Write these down here:
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The final question is deceptively simple. Look carefully at your list above. Think about your life and the career choices you have made to try to accommodate these passengers. How long have you tried to beat them? How long will you allow them to dictate where you drive in life?
Instead of fighting with your passengers, could you be willing to drive your bus in the direction of your choosing, if it meant having them around?